New Year’s Resolutions: A values-based approach

*Ding*
“Did you know it’s quitter’s day? Research shows 50% of people give up on their resolutions today!”

*Ding*
“Are you coming back? Remember your goals and don’t give up.”

*Ding*
“It’s been 17 days since you logged progress. Come back today.”

These are notifications from the habit tracker app I use to measure progress on my New Years resolutions. Surprisingly, these messages did not fill me with confidence and inspiration. Instead, I felt guilty and disappointed. I kept coming back to one thought… “I did care about these goals – so why HAD I drifted away from my resolutions?”

Are my New Year’s resolutions working for me? A Kind Reassessment

The beginning of the year can be a meaningful time to reflect on the past and set intentions  for the future. However, as March comes to a close, folks sometimes lose steam on their New Year’s resolutions – finding it difficult to sustain progress, feeling disheartened by times they’ve “failed”, or not feeling attached to the goal itself.

There are many reasons why New Year’s resolutions can be difficult to maintain. It is difficult to meet goals that are too rigid, too big, or that are based on what we feel we should be doing. Rigid goals can make it easy to feel like we’ve failed, big goals can be intimidating to start, and goals inspired by “I should ____” often make us feel guilty and ashamed rather than genuinely excited and motivated. 

So, how can I do New Year’s resolutions differently? Exploring Values

• Be Curious – Look at your New Year’s resolutions (e.g. “Read 50 books” or “Exercise every day”) and ask yourself “what about this is important to me? What makes this a change that matters to me?”
• Reflect – You may find reading books is a way to have fun, or to gain knowledge, or maybe you yearn for the accomplishment that comes with finishing a whole book. Is exercise connected to wanting energy and adventure? Perhaps it inspires calm in your life, or maybe you really value the community that comes from a group workout class!
• Name Your Values – Fun, knowledge, adventure… These are all examples of “values”! Knowing our values allows us to be connected to WHY we care about the goals we’ve set and what we WANT to be focused on in our life.
  
  If you want to learn more about your own values and why they are important, check out this blog.
  If you need help brainstorming values check out this values card game, Val-You, or this big list of values from ACT Psychologist Russ Harris.

Okay, now what do I do with these values? Planning Concrete Actions

• Brainstorm actions – Come up with big and small ways to lean into this value. Imagine you were watching a movie of your life and seeing yourself being fun or pursuing knowledge… what would you notice? What would you be doing more of and what would you be doing less of? Perhaps you are spending more time talking about books with friends, or spending less time scrolling on social media.
• Plan – Schedule these things into your life – start small and focus on saying to yourself “I want to do _____ because it is in line with this value.” (E.g. “I want to try new recipes because that helps me be adventurous”). 
• Revisit your New Year’s resolutions – Use these values to rewrite your original New Year’s resolutions! For example, maybe instead of “read everyday” it will be “I want to have more fun in my daily life, so I want to return to my childhood habit of reading fun books at bedtime”. 

“But now I feel bad – I should have been doing this since January”

It’s always a good time to check-in with our goals & values. The rigid expectation of setting New Year’s resolutions in January and never wavering on them may actually limit our ability to achieve our goals. 

As a tip – you can chunk up the year into quarters. Every three months, check in with your goals and values. You can treat each quarter as a chance to re-evaluate and jump-start your New Years resolutions!

Ready to get started? You can do it!

Knowing your values is a very empowering step for your mental health! Now that you understand your values, you can:

• Understand the WHY behind your New Year’s resolutions
• Be creative and curious in finding big and small pathways to meet your values
• Start taking concrete actions!

You don’t have to do this work alone! Talk to your friends, family, partner, and co-workers about your values and resolutions. If you’re looking to explore your values and help connect these to your New Year’s resolutions, counselling can help you dive deeper into your intentions. Contact us if you are ready to take the next step.

Get in touch with us and book your free 15-minute consultation.